Paper 2

http://www.scribd.com/doc/81111324/i-Just-Cant-Focus

In the paper "I just can't focus", I was trying to make the point that it is very important to write in a place where you are able to write efficiently. My main claim was my example of how I couldn't write efficiently when in my room and in my dorm but could write well in a place where I was comfortable and focused.  This is persuasive because I think many people, especially college students can think of how often they write in their dorms but don't think of how much more they would get done if they went somewhere else. It is possible that some people may be able to write better in their dorm compared to the library but the main point is just finding that place and it is different for everyone. I think that the parts that went well are the conversation between me and the reader went well. I feel like the paper could be related to many college students as well as other people. I feel like sometimes I have a hard time transitioning into different phases of my paper. If I had more time, I would relate better to outside sources. There were a couple confusing statements throughout my paper that I changed, but other than that, there wasn't much more that he said to change. I think that I still need help understanding how to make my paper flow better.